How Trauma Bonding Occurs in Addiction (and Reversing the Bond)
Trauma bonding is widely misunderstood. A lot of people don’t know what trauma bonds are, how they start, or why it can be so difficult to reverse or end trauma bonds, let alone the ways trauma bonds can intersect with addiction.
Having supportive people by your side matters, and working with treatment providers who are versed in the nature of trauma bonding is crucial, as trauma bonding in addiction can be complex issues to treat effectively.
Whether you’ve been through abuse and are looking for a professional who can provide emotional support or are wondering if you might be in a trauma-bonded relationship right now, we’re here for you.
Definition of Trauma Bonding
A trauma bond refers to the emotional connection or bond between a person and their abuser.
Trauma bonding can happen in cases of sexual, financial, physical, or emotional abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, sex trafficking, or other instances of power imbalance. Even institutional or workplace abuse may involve a trauma bond.
While it can be challenging to break free from an unhealthy, toxic, or abusive relationship where a trauma bond is present, doing so is more than possible.
How Does a Trauma Bond Start?
To explain how trauma bonding works, it can help to look at Stockholm Syndrome, which refers to the emotional bond a person develops with someone who abuses or holds them captive.
People with Stockholm Syndrome develop positive feelings, like sympathy, toward the abuser or captor. It is widely believed that this is a psychological response developed so that the abused person can cope.
All of that to say, toxic or abusive relationships can be complex and confusing. They don’t always start out with abundant red flags, especially in cases where the relationship is a romantic one. In fact, trauma bonding typically requires psychological conditioning consistent with common cycles seen in abusive relationships.
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The Cycle of Abuse
The cycle of abuse involves times of hope or improvement paired with lows or bad times, with various stages of trauma bonding that are widely recognized. For example, let’s say that someone has an abusive partner who was affectionate and kind at the beginning.
They may engage in love-bombing, work to build your trust, and proceed to test that trust at first. Over time, they sink into abusive behavior.
Periodically, an abuser might be kinder or seem as though they are working on the relationship.
This is to keep you around. You may crave the good times, feel confused, or wonder if it’s your fault, all of which can make it tough to leave. Those who are abused or neglected by a parent might have a similar experience, where they remember the positive parts of the person or relationship.
Trauma Bonds and the Risk of Addiction
Having been in a trauma-bonded relationship of any kind is a lot to grapple with. Abuse often involves manipulation and might be filled with highs and lows in some cases. Regardless, it can come with severe psychological effects. Sometimes, this can lead survivors to self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
Statistically, people with past trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder are at an increased risk of substance addiction. This includes those who have been through intimate partner violence, which can manifest in the form of psychological abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, stalking, or economic abuse.
How Trauma Bonding Occurs in Addiction
Rather than facing addiction yourself, you could be in a situation where a romantic partner or family member uses substances. Perhaps you had a rocky home life growing up, and one of your parents was an alcoholic. This can come with emotional turmoil and may be linked to unhealthy dynamics, such as those of codependency, enablement, or abuse.
If this sounds familiar, seeking help to break trauma bonds really does help. Whether you are the spouse of someone with a substance addiction, an adult child, or have another type of relationship with them, you deserve support, self-care, and relief.
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Reversing Trauma Bonds
The way you navigate or reverse a trauma bond may differ depending on the exact situation. Keeping in mind that you can adjust them to fit your circumstances, here are some steps you can take to reverse trauma bonds.
Acknowledgement as a First Step
Identifying traumatic events as trauma–as something that is unjust, unfair, or that hurt you—is a necessary first step toward overcoming them. By acknowledging an abusive incident or relationship, you are validating yourself, which will allow you to feel your feelings, work through them, and ultimately, heal.
If you’re in an active destructive cycle right now, this means that you can detect it and break free. We know that this is no easy feat. Protecting yourself and anyone else involved (e.g., children) is of the utmost importance.
Leaving Safely (in the Case of Abusive Relationships)
If you are currently experiencing a trauma bond in an abusive relationship, leaving safely is vital. The National Domestic Violence Hotline website has a guide on how to create a safety plan and leave an abusive relationship, which may be a beneficial resource if you are in this situation.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Learning to set boundaries matters for all trauma survivors. If you are the loved one of someone in active addiction, boundaries are critical. Healthy boundaries can be a way to protect your well-being, and they can also help you avoid enablement.
Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Whether you have left an abusive relationship or are in a situation where someone currently in your life is facing concerns related to substance use, you want to have healthy coping skills. Having healthy coping skills can help you through high-stress times, like trauma bond withdrawals or breaking unhealthy patterns.
Seek Professional Help
Working with a qualified mental health professional is one of the most essential things you can do to reverse or overcome the effects of a trauma bond.
A licensed provider, like a therapist, can give you individualized guidance for navigating your unique situation and all of the challenges that might come with undoing a trauma bond.
Trauma Bond Withdrawal Symptoms
Understanding trauma bond withdrawal symptoms might be valuable for those reversing trauma bonds. When you first break a trauma bond, there will be an adjustment period. During that time, you may experience:
- Mixed feelings toward the abusive person, such as alternating love, anger, and confusion.
- Bargaining (e.g., “Maybe it wasn’t so bad, maybe I was wrong”).
- New or worsened depression symptoms.
You will get through this period. Having a strong support network, which should include professional support, matters. Give yourself positive reinforcement during this time–you did the right thing by deciding to create change. Like with substance addiction, these symptoms will dissipate as you continue moving forward.
When Substance Addiction Feels Like a Trauma Bond
Substance abuse itself can mirror a toxic relationship. After all, using drugs and alcohol causes problems in your life, whether financially, legally, socially, or in ways that relate to your mental or physical health, but it can be hard to stop.
In addition to offering a full continuum of care (inpatient rehab, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient or IOP, and outpatient programs) for people with trauma and mental health disorders, Icarus Behavioral Health Nevada provides top-rated substance abuse and dual-diagnosis treatment services.
Our substance abuse and dual diagnosis treatment options include detox, inpatient care, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, and outpatient programs. Please feel free to call Icarus Behavioral Health Nevada for yourself or someone else experiencing any type of drug or alcohol addiction.
The Role of Combined Trauma and Addiction Treatment
Whether you need a trauma and mental health-specific treatment program or need support with both substance abuse and mental health, Icarus Behavioral Health Nevada can help. Here’s a little bit about what you can expect from our programs.
Individual and Group Therapy
We use evidence-based treatments for trauma, mental health, and addiction.
Therapies used to address trauma in individual and group settings may include but aren’t limited to dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and cognitive processing therapy (CPT).
We also offer creative therapies, supportive holistic methods, experiential therapy, motivational therapy, life skills, medication management, recreation, and other activities. You’ll get a personalized treatment plan, which will influence the therapy schedule you follow with us.
Family Therapy Sessions
Sometimes, family therapy sessions can be helpful for trauma survivors and those recovering from addiction. Our mental health professionals provide psychoeducation for family members and family therapy sessions where you can work through communication-related concerns, codependency, enablement, and other potential issues with loved ones.
Building Healthy Relationships
People who have been in a trauma bond can have healthy relationships moving forward. Childhood trauma survivors can struggle with healthy interpersonal relationships later on, especially after abuse or neglect. Those who go through abusive relationships as an adult might experience some similar effects.
Getting treatment can help you learn healthy relationship skills like boundary setting, communication, and determining what you will and won’t accept.
Call Icarus in Las Vegas for Effective Trauma and Addiction Treatment in Nevada
Icarus Behavioral Health Nevada provides a clear path for those healing from addiction, mental health, and trauma.
We really do know what you’re going through, and our team is here to help you every step of the way, from your first point of contact with us to the aftercare process and beyond.
Contact Icarus Behavioral Health Nevada’s admissions line today to learn more about our programs. All calls to our center are confidential and commitment-free, so please reach out today for proven support options.
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FAQs Regarding Trauma Bonding in Addiction
What are the seven stages of trauma bonding?
Trauma bonding involves a cycle, which is sometimes described through the seven stages of trauma bonding. The first stage is love-bombing, the second stage is trust, and the next five are dependency, criticism, gaslighting, loss of self, and submission or resignation.
What is the connection between trauma and addiction?
Going through trauma increases your likelihood of developing a substance use disorder. Research suggests that those who go through trauma early in life (e.g., childhood or teen years) are particularly susceptible to substance addiction later on.
How do you release a trauma bond?
Romantic relationships involving a trauma bond can be broken by leaving safely. After leaving abusive or toxic relationships, whether it was a physically, sexually, financially, or emotionally abusive relationship, getting help from a qualified professional matters.
If you go through traumatic bonding over a shared or partially shared experience (e.g., loving a family member in active addiction, which may have affected other family members and yourself), boundaries and distance can be valuable. Emotional support from a mental health provider is highly recommended in this situation or a similar one.